Love is more than a word
by NiimuraYume
Summary: Simply Max/Michael... SLASH WARNING... THIRD CHAPTER UP AND RUNNING!!!!!!!!!
1. Default Chapter

Roswell 

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**By White Angel**

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Love Is More Than A Word…

"Michael?"

"Hmm..?"

"What if they find out?"

"Who?"

"I don't know… Liz, Maria….. or Isabel or my parents …… or Valenti or…"

"I think I got the picture, Maxwell." I brush a streak of dark hair out of his face and smile down at him. "You're thinking too much."

"But… " Max sighs deeply against my chest, his hot breath warming my skin, "You never think about the future, do you?"

"Yes, I do. Just not right now." I squirm a little, reminded that this night couldn't go on forever. "Right now…" I give him a tender kiss on the forehead, "I only wanne think about you, me…us?" I ask hesitantly, afraid of the answer. "Is there an us?"

Now it is his turn to smile. "If you want it to be…" 

Wow, now that is something new. Max, our… my control freak Max, tosses the ball to me?

"Yeah… because I trust you."

I must have said that out loud. And what did he just say? He trusts me? 

"I love you, Michael… honestly." He insists, what I can still hardly believe. This man, this perfect man says he loves me. *me* of all people, me where he could have Liz, although… he still does go out with her. 

I shouldn't ask, shouldn't even think about it but… "Do you love her?"

"What?" he raises his head and stares at me.

"Do you love her?" I repeat, slower this time, keeping my gaze locked to his.

"I… I don't… I… no. Not like I love you. I care for her, I don't wanne hurt her but love… no."

I feel relieved, sorry for Liz a little but defenetely relieved. I sigh deeply.

"Do you love Maria?"

"No." the answer comes quickly. I had enough time to think about that over the past years. "Not anymore… she was, I don't know, something special. She was different. And she distracted me a little from you but… no real love. Not like what I feel for you." The warm look on Max's face is filling me, I drink from those brown eyes, I almost drown in them.

He pulls himself up, a gentle smile spreading his lips before they meat mine, warm caresses to my mouth.

"I never knew you were capable of such deep speeches." He teases me as our lips part, his eyes sparkling.

"Neither did I…" I confess, looking away, trying to hide the blush that is creping up my face. He pulls me close for another searing kiss before pulling me into a strong embrace, my head resting on his chest. I feel the lean muscles underneath his skin, how they move there, holding me tight.

Now I look up at him, love clearly written in my face. I trust him, damnit, I love him. I'd die for him, regretless. 

"Michael… you know we can't… tell…… what shall we do if anybody finds out?"

"Hey, Maxwell, Max. We are the masters of secrets and how to keep them, right?" he nods and I continue "We can do this. If anybody finds out we will face that when we come to it, okey?"

"Okey. I love you."

"I… I l-love…" his fingers on my lips prevent me from more stammering. "Shhh… I know. You don't have to tell me…"

I kiss his fingers, catching them with my hand and kissing his palm. I hear a little moan from him and have to smile. That is me doing this to him.

I get up and straddle him, ravishing his mouth, slowly moving lower, kissing and licking and nibbling and sucking in turns down his throat to his chest, his body writhing under mine. His hands come to my head and pull me back up, pulling me in for a long leisurely kiss, only releasing when we both are at a lack of air.

Breathing heavily he pants only one word which makes me look at him fearfully. "No."

"What? Why?" has he changed his mind? How dare him… Please don't hurt me… not now that I finally found you, don't let me lose you again.

"Because it is late." He indicates to the window of his bedroom. "Dawn's coming. You…" he hesitates for a long moment. He doesn't want me to leave either. But I know I have to and so does he. I nod my understanding and plant one last kiss on his lips before getting up and dressed. 

As I am opening his window his voice holds me back.

"Michael?"

I turn around and see him getting up himself, the bedcover around his waist and walking over to me. 

"In school… tomorrow… nothing has changed, right?"

"Right." I see the hurt in his eyes. Those eyes can give away everything Max feels. I can always read what he feels. I stroke his cheek comfortingly, reassuring him as much as myself. He looks down and I lean in to kiss his head softly. "I love you, Max." This time I am not hesitating.

He looks up surprised and gives me another long, loving kiss before pulling back and looking me into the eyes. "I love you too. See you tomorrow?"

It was less a question than a statement for we both know we can't stay away from each other. Tomorrow is gonna be hell. Being close to him without being able to touch him, to kiss him, to feel and taste him will be torture. But it has to be done.

"Yeah… tomorrow." I climb out of the window, staring at him again, not wanting to let go.

I turn away and leave before I lose the ability to… now I have to go home… empty home… loneliness… coldness.

No loving arms to hold me, no body to warm me, no Max.

No Max.

These words sink in as I lay on my couch, shivering although it is not cold, longing for Max, not being able to sleep, no matter how tired I am.

Alone is good.

Well, it was. It had always been enough. Then Max has to come along with his heart, his warmth, his love and fills out a place in my heart I hadn't known existed there. Now I know and it feels empty without him being close, holding me, kissing me…

I love him.

Always have..

Always will… .

The End


	2. aftershocks

Roswell 

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**By White Angel**

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Aftershocks

I am sitting in class. So are Liz, Maria and Isabel. But where is Michael?

I haven't seen him since last night. I am worried. He does disappear sometimes but that is only when he is confused. So am I Michael. So am I.

Where could he be? Does he regret it? I don't. I am totally confused but I don't regret it. It was wrong, yes. But it felt so right. How could something that feels so right be wrong? 

I crave for his touch.

Maybe it is not that bad that he is not here. This way I don't have to look into those eyes. I don't want to see the regret and the hurt in them I am sure I will find.

But I have to find him.

I have to reassure myself that he is okey with this.

If he isn't I don't know what I will do. I need him.

As the school-bell rings I jump off my chair and rush outside. I hear a faint "Max" but I don't care. 

I have to find him.

I start the engine of my jeep and drive off. First his place.

Arriving there it is empty. I go inside.

He is quite messy. Clothes scattered all over the floor. His couch is his bed. It can't be much more comfortable than my floor… but he doesn't have to sleep on my floor anymore. One way or the other.

It will never be the same again.

If he is not okey with this… I won't be able to look him in the eyes again. I feel guilt rise in me. I have to suppress it. Now I first have to find him. No need to sweat about something that might never happen. But what if…?

The whole room is filled with his scent. It fills my nostrils and I feel a warmth in me like last night, when I held him in my arms, touching him, kissing him. I can't deny the fact that I love him.

Okey, he is not here.

Where else could he be?

The cave.

I turn on my heels and drive to the cave, praying for him to be there.

I hesitate at the entrance, but I feel his presence. He is here.

"Michael." Just one word but it is my whole world.

There he sits, not looking up, just staring at the floor between his feet. Long moments pass before he finally looks up. I am taken aback by the pain in his eyes. It is there, plain for me to see.

I want to run to him, pull him close, stroke that pain away and kiss him better. But I know better than to do that. So I simply stand there, waiting for him to do the first step. It has to be him.

"Maxwell." He uses my long name. I sigh inwardly. "I knew you would find me." He says, looking back down to the floor.

"Why weren't you at school today?" I ask, not realizing I do before it is out.

"Because I was afraid."

"Afraid?"

"Yeah." His head hangs now and I feel my heart cramp by the thought of Michael being hurt.

"Why?" my voice is quiet, calmer than I feel. I am surprised it actually comes out without choking on the word.

"Because I couldn't be near you." That hurts. He doesn't want me near. He does regret it. My heart is broken, I know he doesn't mean to hurt me but he does. I turn around to leave when his voice holds me back.

"Max."

I turn back around and see tears shimmering in his eyes. "I mean I couldn't have you near without having to touch you. I couldn't keep myself from touching you. I can't act as if there's nothing is between us."

I sigh in relief and feel tears in my eyes as well. My heart skips a beat at the confession. "You don't regret it?" I have to be sure.

"No." That one word made my barriers brake and I go over to him, crushing our bodies together, locking my lips to his. He responds by opening his mouth, his hands crawling up and down my back. One of my hands tangles in his hair the other in the small of his back. 

When we release it is only because of the lack of oxygen and I connect my forehead to his. My second hand comes up to cup his face and I look into those eyes I love so much. Those intense eyes, never giving away anything now showed nothing but warmth and affection… and love.

I gently rub his cheekbone, loving the feel of his skin. "Thank you."

"For what?" he asks, slowly backing off until we can really see each other. 

"I don't know. Just for being you, I guess."

The look on his face is unreadable. I see different emotions flicker over his features, wonder, disbelieve and again that warm look of love. Love for me.

I wonder if he sees the same love on my face, in my eyes and I feel the tears coming back to me.

He cups my face and looks at me. Then he pulls me into a gentle but firm embrace. This is what I have been craving for all day.

"Never leave me…" he whispers into my hair and I lean back, seeing a single tear slip down his cheek. I tenderly brush it away and a weak but honest smile forms on my lips. "Never." I promise, sure he knows I mean it.

"I couldn't live without you, Max." 

"Yes, you could."

"No. Never." His words struck deep. I don't find words so I do what I can think of as the only possibility. I pull him close, never wanting to let go. Nobody understands me like him.

"I love you, Michael."

"I love you too."

We stand like this for a long while before finally parting. We kiss long, passionate but gentle. To me it is the most natural thing in the world.

"Ready to go back?" I ask him, although I myself don't want to go, don't want to face reality.

He nods and we go out of the cave, our hands still tightly entwined.

"How did you get here?"

"Walked…"

"You walked all the way?"

"Yeah… I needed time to think. I couldn't sleep last night."

"Neither could I." I confess, gently touching his cheek.

We climb into the jeep and he looks at me, love and fear, hope and sadness in his eyes.

I give him a quick kiss before starting the engine.

Back to reality.

Back to Roswell.

The End


	3. Dreams

Roswell 

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**By White Angel**

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Dreams 

What is it with them?

Michael is acting strange lately. That's nothing too strange where he is always acting strange to some degree but Max is acting strange too.

I think they are hiding something from me.

I can't say what it is and every time I ask them they get nervous and look at each other and then they change the subject.

It is the same every time.

I promised to never do it. I have never done it with one of us. I don't know if it would work anyway.

But I have to. I have to try.

I am laying in bed, looking at the yearbook from last year. I touch Max's picture and concentrate.

Next I find myself in a dark room, lights seemingly coming only from the walls themselves. The whole room is illuminated in soft yellow light. And there he stands.

Max.

He seems to be looking for something, as if waiting for someone to come, one hand in his pocket.

He turns around quickly, alarmed and I hide behind a curtain. He would know I am not part of his dream. He knows what I am capable of.

I hear a familiar shifting of feet though I can't place it. Max turns away again, his eyes lighting up visibly.

There she comes. I'm sure it is Liz, by the way Max eyes glow but I can't believe who I see instead.

Michael.

What is Michael doing in Max's dream? And why is he so happy to see him?

Suddenly I realize what they're doing.

Their bodies are pressed together, their lips locked. I can hear little moans from Max, sighs which sound very much like 'Max' and 'Michael'. I can't believe it. Max is attracted to Michael.

I have to leave before he finds out I'm here.

In my room, in my bed I wake up, shocked and paralyzed.

I still can't believe what I have just seen.

That can't be what *they* have to hide. It has to be something different. This was only Max's dream. Not Michael's.

I decide to visit Michael's dream as well, though I honestly am afraid what I might find there.

I find Michael's picture in the book and touch it.

I find myself in a room… I can hear shouting and then Michael storms into the room. I can see tears on his face and realize this is his room. The one he had at Hank's. I also see the bruise on his cheek where Hank must have hit him.

He climbs out of the window and I follow him.

He runs to our house… knocking on Max's window my brother opens and lets him in.

Michael is unfolding the sleeping bag in which he always sleeps when he is at Max's. He obviously tries to hide the bruise from Max. My brother is stopping him mid-motion, putting a hand on his arm.

Michael looks up and Max shakes his head. Michael drops the sleeping bag and turns to Max.

No word is spoken but Max gently touches the bruise, looking at him questioningly. Michael looks down but Max pulls his chin back up, gently healing the scattered face and then pulling him close.

Their foreheads together they stay for a while, just looking at each other.

"You don't need the sleeping bag anymore."

Barely a whisper I have trouble to understand Max but it all just gets crystal clear when Max leans forward and kisses Michael. And Michael kisses back.

Damn, I feared this is what they are hiding from me. I was right.

I am waking up again, confused beyond believe.

I have to talk to Max.

I get up quickly and rush down the hall to my brother's room.

I try to enter but the door is locked. I sigh and unlock it, using my powers. I would have pounded on the door and shouted for him to open up but this isn't something our parents have to know about.

I open the door… and there they are.

In the dark barely visible it is clear that there is more than one person under those sheets.

My mouth drops open and before I know what I'm doing I shout "Max!"

He jumps and faces me, tired but I can see the fear in his eyes.

"Isabel" the defeat in his voice is clearly audible but I am furious. "What the fuck is going on here?"

"I… I…" Max only stammers and Michaels head pops up behind my brother. 

"What do you think, Isabel? Don't be so shocked. You knew it, that's why you're here isn't it?"

Max and I both stare at him.

"You don't think you can sneak around in my dreams without me noticing, do you?"

I shake my head and Max now looks at me again. "You sneaked in his… did you sneak around in my head as well?"

Now this is embarrassing. "I… you were hiding something from me. I had to know what it is. But that you two…"

I see the blood creeping up Max's face, turning his skin a deep crimson. He looks away, to Michael and whispers to him "I knew we couldn't hide it. I told you Michael."

"I know." Was the response and an arm sneaked around my brother, pulling him close.

"Please don't tell anyone." Michael strokes Max's hair, the motion so gentle, so lovingly. I can't believe it.

"I can't believe this." I speak out my thoughts.

"Believe it, Isabel. It's true." Michael's voice was so strange. It was not as hard and demanding as usual. It was soft, like a caress gently wrapping around Max's soul.

"Can we talk about this in the morning?" Max asks, his head on Michael's shoulder, eyes staring pleadingly at me.

I sigh and nod, rubbing my eyes before leaving the room.

I don't think I can sleep tonight…

The End


End file.
